American and Indian Society

Well we do know that the American and Indian society differ in various aspects. I was really amazed  when I realised how mature Americans are that too at a very young age. I remember chatting with a girl from Canada, who was just 16, but her maturity and knowledge blew me completely. She knew about the events happening almost all over the world, had a good knowledge about politics and society, in Canada as well as abroad, and I am sure Indian kids would not even know the kind of political system we have in the country, well I would even be surprised if they could tell me what political systems exist. So going back to the main issue, about the society, Americans are much open compared to Indians. They express themselves the way they want to. In U.S. I truly see the freedom of expression being exercised. Now the question asked would be “Don’t Indians have the freedom of Expression and don’t we exercise it?” Well we do have it in the 3rd part of our Constitution in the Fundamental Rights. But can we always exercise it? I don’t think so. There are certain political parties that we have who support a particular religion, and think they are some kind of a superman or batman to come and remind us of our values and tradition. Now I come to my question, “What exactly is Indias culture or tradition that these parties talk about?” If you support a religion which is the so-called oldest religion of the world, where your Gods had numerous wives, etc etc. Well I don’t want to get into anything related to religion here, but India is the country that had Kamasutra, Indian kings had many wives, so which culture and tradition are we really talking about? Can anybody answer that. On Valentines day you will have those same political parties coming in front and thrashing people for “expressing” their feelings. I am surprised that now in the 21st century these parties behave in such a manner and think these “acts” of theirs makes more sense than the “expression” on Valentines Day. Are they some God sent angels here to teach us or remind us of our so called values and traditions?

On the other hand, I am really impressed with U.S. The freely express them self. Here in India if a girl uses abusive language, smokes or drinks, she would be looked down by the society, insulted or humiliated, not only a girl but even a boy if he is found drinking or smoking. Sex would lead their parents to suicide or the girl would be compelled to suicide or thrown out of the home. At this point I remember the movie Juno, where the parents actually took care of their daughter and supported her when she was pregnant. A movie does reflect the society because it is the people living in a society who watch movies, and the movies which run or become an hit, in turn, reflects the kind of society, by the kind of movie it is, and the kind of movies the community likes. So these movies talk a lot about the American society.

I do not support the American society completely. It has its pros and cons. Ill start according to the age groups.

Children

They are encouraged or sorry they are not exactly encouraged to get into a particular career. In India, 5 minutes after birth, depending on the sex, the parents start wondering whether their child would be a doctor or engineer (no other career exists in India according to parents) and if the child turns out to be totally useless will land into a call center for a good life in turn making lives in U.S. and U.K. miserable. I really pity those chaps out there. So children there have a wide range of options to select from. I remember my friend Neytra once telling me, “If you close one option, you close many more options along with it.” It really makes a lot of sense now. Here parents are very narrow minded, and restrict them self to a particular thinking (which is influenced by society). Thats the reason America has a wide range of labour working in different industries and are doing well in various aspects, because the best are at the place they deserve to be, whereas in India, a person may be good at writing, may be good at journalism, but would end up being a not-so-good engineer or doctor.

Next teenagers.

Now the teenagers there concentrate a lot on their personality, like for example, their looks, their speech, what they talk and where they talk. They make friends only with those who seem to be like them, and they treasure their friends (if not family). I have noticed on many occasions that American children are not very close to their parents. They often have problems with them, and want less interference from them. Its the opposite in India where the child depends on the parent till he graduates from college. One advantage there is that children are independent at a young age, they may babysit, or work and earn, whereas this is very rare in India. In India on the other hand, children are close to parents and share a strong bond. Parents often interfere in their child’s matters (which I personally don’t think is good) which maintains the bond and closeness.

Teenagers there are more exposed to sex at a young age(compared to India). Since they know a lot about it, either from their family or friends, they tend to get more curious. It is irrespective whether it is a boy or a girl. The good thing about that is that one can get rid of his/her curiosity, not watch porn too often or even visit brothels. I was having this discussion with a friend of mine, who did not agree with me on this point, so I asked her that why does India have a number of AIDS patients. She told me all AIDS patients do not get affected through sex only. Then i asked her, how many people do you think get that magical syringe which spreads AIDS in cinemas or how often is it spread through blades. But there is another thing, if I visit a yahoo or msn chat room, I will find at least 90% desperate Indians trying to find someone out there. These things would not happen if the child gets the right advice at the right time. Well you cannot really do much about the adults, but you really need to make sure the child does not get into this because at this tender age they tend to be “curious” about certain aspects (it is true no matter how much Indian girls deny it, in the end even that thought is influenced by the society)

Adults

This is one aspect which i feel really bad about for America. They tend to have a high number of divorces and tend to get married many times. It really affects a child. There is no proper family system. Children often long to meet their “real” parents and siblings. A divorce tends to destroy children mentally and emotionally but through that they learn the way of life, but the hard way. This is one aspect I really like in India, that the number of divorces are less. We live as a proper family. We have our differences as a family, but we get over them, and continue to live our life. In U.S. when the parents have a problem, or one of the married couple finds a better partner, they would leave the old one. Where is the bond of marriage and the love. Marriage is supposed to be a sacrament. We say marriages are made in heaven. So why break it if we were really meant to be with a particular person. I would like to compare the bond of marriage to a relationship between a child and his parent. Children do have problem with parents, but do they divorce each other. They fight, but tend to forgive and forget. Why can’t this happen in a marriage. Why can’t things be mended. A child often fights with his parent, but then they solve their problem soon and live happily. A child never leaves his father or vice versa (unless divorce separates them). So why can’t this be seen in a bond of marriage. Or is it a kind of trend these days, to get married to as many as possible, or may be it has become easier to get divorced and this trend is continuing and children commit themselves at a very young age as well. All these reasons contribute to a number of divorces and marriages. If this continues, I won’t be surprised if a child really doesn’t live with his/her own, real parents, but through divorce cases, land in some 3rd persons hands.

This is how society influences the way of life and here was an example of two completely contrasting lifestyles.

American Beauty…

Yes. Your Right. This is the name of a movie and it also won 5 oscars. After I’ve made it to a law college, I have started watching a number a movies, which in a way is good. I dont go to the cinema, because my room is as good as one. One laptop, a bed, 3-4 on that bed, snacks and now a 2600 watt intex speakers. I don’t think I need anything else to watch a movie. Now since we are so jobless and have no work in life, we watch movies regularly. Surprisingly I started watching English movies quite late, and that was after I joined NLIU and I really wondered why I would not see such movies earlier, and would see sick Hindi movies with those same cheap humour which is understood by the average Indian individual. Now I’m happy that the Indian public have started appreciating good intellectual movies like Black Friday, A wednesday, Slumdog Millionaire and some others, and every Yash Raj movie is not becoming a hit as it used to. It is said that movies reflect the life in a society, and it is a mirror, and it truly does. Also, if a movie is a hit, it means it is liked by the public. Most typical Hindi movies have something in common:-

1. A prominent actress.

2. Will have a love story.

3. The whole movie will be based on that love story.

4. Will have a happy and meaningless ending.

It was really sad that at one time the same boring Yash Raj movies would actually run for years, which was replaced by movies like Masti with a cheap humour. Suddenly it is nice to see that Indian public have started appreciating good movies and have started watching them.

Now I will come to one of my favourite English Movies. And among all the movies I’ve seen so far my favourite goes like this:-

1. American Beauty.

2. Shawshank Redemption

3. Fight Club

4.Life is beautiful

5. Butterfly Effect

Now coming to American Beauty. This movie had few amazing dialogues and really effective ones. They made lot of sense. This movie was about an ordinary man, and his ordinary life. Every person no matter how ordinary he may be, is special. One should never compare himself to anyone else. Lester’s life was simple. He had problems with his wife and daughter. He made efforts to mend the relationship. But his family never understood him. But when he was death, both his wife and daughter felt bad. But when a person is dead, you cant really tell a sorry. So if a person had a fight with someone, you shouldn’t wait till the last moment for a sorry, because if it is too late, you would repent and blame yourself for the rest of your life.

Life is a beautiful gift given to us and there is a lot of beauty all around us. Instead of cribbing about our life and our problems, we must rather be happy that we have the gift of live, and so much beauty in the nature and environment around us. In the end, Lester says, “I could have been pissed off at what happened to me, but I close my eyes and think of all the things in my life, and my heart fills up like a balloon that is about to burst, and all I feel is gratitude” Think of every bad situation as a learning experience. Problems make a person more mature, and he learns how to handle life. Everything that happens happens for good and for a reason. So one must not highlight and think about the bad things, but be happy, satisfied about all the good things that have happened to us.

Another dialogue in the movie “In order to be successful one must project an image of success”. One must not mix his professional and personal life. Both these things should be kept at a distance. If one does not enjoy a healthy family life, it should not come in the way of work. Now it is not possible for a person to forget about the problems he is going through, so it is better to just project an image of success. So always in your personal and professional life, always highlight the successful points and leave behind the negative ones.

Now-a-days in a family, both the husband and wife work. They spend very less time with their children and spouse. In such a case it often happens that a person gives more importance to materialistic things rather than family, friends and love. Things like money, house, car have become more important to an individual.

There must always be communication. If one keeps quiet, often there are misunderstandings. Whenever you get an opportunity, always express your feelings. Don’t wait till the last minute, or it may never come. if there is a problem or misunderstanding, always solve it.

Some other good dialogues:-

” Your whole life lies before your eyes the second before you die.”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life, except the day you die.”

This is a bit that I have understood from the movie and what I have analysed, and I might have missed out on few points. But this is one movie I have really liked and this is the reason for it to be placed No. 1 on my list.

Lazy winters…

Hi friends…Winter break began…All my batch mates and seniors must be interning at this point of time, while I’m sleeping, chatting and wasting my time to glory. The winter-break began with a bang with two of my cousins getting married one after the other, had to fly to Mangalore for the first one, and immediately come back to Bombay for the next. After I’m back in Bombay, I realise I’ve lost my ATM card somewhere which means: no cash!!! (I don’t remove money from my account through the cheque). So now here I am, with no money, and no internship, trying to enjoy my life here in Bombay. Well everyday is the same, Get up, eat, chat, eat, go for a walk, eat, chat, sleep. And the sleep extends for a minimum of 12 hours. Well being in a relationship is a pain (which I learn from others), never gives you the space, and the girl friend is something like your remote control. While taking a walk today I was telling my friend Pelton, “It often happens in life, that your parents hate the people you love. If you are close to someone in your family (cousins, aunties and uncles) and they are not, they would “lecture you” (which is a form of torture when given by most parents and the feeling is equally the same which would make you feel so guilty and kill yourself) and also educate you about the harm that the relative can cause. For example. I am very close to my cousin, but my parents don’t like her because they did not call us for their dog’s birthday party, whereas everyone else was invited,  and this is something they remember for the rest of their life. So wives or in children’s terms “mother” have the tendency to poison the mind of your father as well as the whole family. It is given to you as a daily dose, till your mind is poisoned in such a manner that you stop speaking to that brother/uncle of yours. Similarly, in future your wife would tell you, “See your brother, he is doing so well. See he is jealous of you. See he hates you so doesn’t invite you for parties. Your brother hates you, and thats the reason he gives you cheap gifts. Since he is jealous of you he’s not helping you secure a job. If you hear any similar sentences with reference to anyone from your wife, just tell her to F*** off and carry on with your life. Now all that begins from the day your gf tells you to stop smoking or stop drinking, or tries to control your life, but don’t let that happen, stop it early, or else your wife will control your life and you could do nothing about, since you don’t even realise how you mind is being poisoned. So this was just an example. Final conclusions/inferences are:-

1. Think Independently.

2. Don’t let others influence your mind.

3. Don’t let your girl friend/wife control your life.

4. For that, don’t always listen to her, or just listen, don’t follow.

5. Be the captain of your own ship, only you can take it where you want.

6. And have a good security (will power and maturity) for your ship (life) or the somalian pirates ( a.k.a. girl friend or wife/can take many other forms) will hijack your ship.

Hope all of you’ll are doing fine. I have another 2 weeks to sleep. Keep in touch and if anyone tells you Robin hates you, Robin is jealous of you or Robin doesn’t like you as his friend, you know what to do.

Adios.

RAQS.

Delhi Blues

Well…It was 3 months back, that I got a confirmation from the N.G.O. that I was confirmed for an internship of 1 month. I was really excited that along with my internship (where I am supposed to learn a lot), I get to explore a new city, that too the “Capital City”. Now when I reached Delhi, I was very cautious, don’t throw anything on the road, people may be decent, find a bin, even for a small chocolate wrapper. Well i know it’s good manners to throw wrappers in the bin, but unfortunately one rarely finds one in India. I was about to meet a friend (online friend) that day for the first time, and I was feeling nice being in Delhi. All alone, knew no one around, trying to find my way. God sent a person in the train who could guide me and save me from cheating in Delhi, so instead of paying 150, I was lucky enough to reach my PG at Rs. 50. After completing the formalities, Im off to meet my friend.

Well met her, her friends, went to Mocha and had a good time. Well that was the last time we met till date.

I had a difficult time even finding the N.G.O. Then finding buses that go from there to my PG. Then I later realised there was only 1 bus taking me that way, so there were times I ended up waiting for 1.5 hrs just to get a bus.

Felt like home when I met my seniors at my PG. it was a nice feeling that you know someone out here, someone to guide you, help you and most importantly show you places. So had a good time with them, showed me where can I get drinks and would end up watching movies at night with them.

Well could have made many good friends at work, but it never worked too well. Never had good (as in good friends) but just acquaitances. Well few of them were close, but in the end I never found some to be the right people to be with.

Internship is a good place, got to learn a bit, work on cases, research a lot and yes, I got to go to the High Court. Was lucky enough to work under some good lawyers, and others helping around, it’s all a learning experience at this stage. But I feel im tired, tired just after 2 weeks. Leave at 9am and come back at around 8pm. There is no time to even explore this city or sit in the metro. Saturdays which are supposed to be half days, and we are supposed to leave at 1-2pm, I end up in office sometimes till 6pm. Well I know after I graduate I may even have to work for 15-18 hours a day, but now…

Friends…. Well nothing much to talk about actually. Few that I can speak of, 1st would be Arunava from NLU-Jodhpur 5th year student. Got to learn a lot from him, about internships, moots and a lot of things. They do say maturity comes with age and experience, and he is almost at the verge of passing out and getting a good job. Got some valuable tips from him, and ya he is the only person I can hang out with in the PG.

Then I can say Mukesh my room mate. Very simple, never involved in anything, keeps to himself, and the best of all, his internet connection. That’s how I can write this now.

My Birthday: Well wasn’t a big bash like it always is out with friends, last 2 years are really memorable, which some friends reading this would agree, and we would never forget them. But this year it wasn’t anything Big. On 5th suprisingly my roommate decided to drink, so we got parathas, vodka for me, and beer for him. On 6th(my bday) I was with my senior Chetan Sir and Arunava and we got beer and tandoori chicken. So it wasn’t like what would happen every year when I was too drunk to even tell my name, but was fine and i enjoyed with new friends. Well I would tell more about my trip to Delhi after Im done with my internship and I am back home.

It may be a bit boring, but that is exactly how my life is out here. Anyway would be telling you’ll about it when I meet you’ll in college or when I meet you’ll.

Few good things that I can count, what I got out here, but many things which I did not like and I would be thankful for all the good things that happened to me. But ya….I am missing SOMEONE a lot out here, and missed her on my Birthday as well. The first birthday after we are together. Just waiting to go back and see the face again, and spend my one week in Bombay with her(before I leave for my college in Bhopal) as if it’s my last week alive and spend some quality time together.

Broken Heart…

This is the story about a girl named Sara. Sara is just an imaginary character and her imaginary story. And any resemblance in this story to any person and any persons life, living or dead is purly co-incidental. So now Sara tells us her story.

This happened two years back. I was 16 years old, just entered my college. I noticed, everything is a show, the girls want to impress guys, and guys want to impress girls. Everyone try to wear good clothes try to show how cool they are, be in a “cool” group, and have the best girl of the college. There was this girl, Natalie, a BIG show off, she had come from Delhi, and was throwing her attitude around. Well later I found out she was one of the wierdest characters in her school back in Delhi, and hardly anyone spoke to her. Anyway, that was my first day in college, did not have any friend, I was the only one who made it there from my school. I noticed everyone were trying their best to impress Natalie, and she was taking advantage of it. Later after a lonely one week, made some friend’s, one of them being Saurav. Saurav was a very nice person, hardworking, career-oriented, simple, smart and most of all very mature. I really liked him, and he always helped me whenever I had any problem, whether it was with family, or friends or studies. He was brilliant in both sports and acedemics. He even won the table tennis competition when he represented Bombay.

Since most of the people in my college were fake, wearing a mask, trying to fool others, I did not personally like any of them. So made only one close friend that time, Saurav. We had become really close friends.

One day, it was raining very heavily. So the so-called lifelines of Mumbai, the locals stopped working. Saurav and I could not go home. Then we decided to go back to college. But then there was a lot of traffic, and even the roads were flooded. Then we tried to make our way back to college. So at that time, we had to pass a lonely area. I was a bit scared. It was lonely and 8pm at night. Saurav then held my hand. I felt comfortabe with him. We were tired, then sat down on the side under a tree. Both of us totally drenched. He took me in his arms, and I felt the warmth. I felt as if I have known him forever. The comfort that I felt just being with him. The time that I enjoyed which I spent with him. In his happiness I would see mine, and in his eyes I would see the truth. Then he whispers those words, which my heart was longing to hear. Those three words, which changes everyones life. I was glad. I told him to repeat, because I couldn’t believe myself. My ears were longing to listen to those words all again. With gladness in my heart, I replied, “Yes, I Do.” And at that moment, I do not know what happened to both of us. Those three words, brought us very close to each other. I could feel something inside me, bringing us very close together. I could feel the love between us. I could feel love flowing between us. We could not control our feelings. That night, something happened that changed my life forever. We then looked at each other, I had tears in my eyes and his arms round me, to protect me from every danger. I felt as if I have found HIM. We then made our way back to college and reached at 9. I could not sleep that night and believe what had happened. My eyes were filled with tears, tears of joy and happiness.

But, I did something, for which I cannot be forgiven. Well it was a wonderful experience then. Two days later, Saurav leaves me, and tells me it’s better for both of us. Then my friend’s tell my Natalie proposed to him, so he left me, and now he is happy with her. At that time, I realised how this person spoiled my life. I realised how cruel life could be, and especially this boy. I got a punishment for falling in love. It was so beautiful being with him. Those same lovely moments had then become nightmares. The dreams that I dreamt of being with him, was like poison I sowed once upon a time, and experiencing its effects now. I have to live with that deep sunken feeling of that night, that wonderful night (at that moment) I had with him. Now how could I trust any guy. How can I live happily with any person after this. How will I tell my husband about my past and especially that one night, when I was used and thrown. I now feel like a slut, that same past keeps haunting me everyday. I get scared to look at myself in the mirror. Every night my soul cries, that one night that changed my life, and left me Broken Hearted…..

I remember the lyrics of the song by Lee Ann Womack… Why they call it falling….

It’s like jumpin
It’s like leapin
It’s like walkin on the ceilin
It’s like floatin
It’s like flyin through the air
It’s like soarin
It’s like glidin
It’s a rocket ship you’re ridin
It’s a feelin that can take you anywhere

So why they call it fallin
Why they call it fallin
Why they call it fallin
I don’t know (Chorus)

There was passion
There was laughter
The first mornin after
I just couldn’t get my feet to touch the ground
Every time we were together
We talked about forever
I was certain it was Heaven we had found

(Chorus)

But you can’t live your life
Walkin in the clouds
Sooner or later
You have to come down

It’s like a knife
Through the heart
And it all comes apart
It’s like someone takes a pin to your balloon
It’s a hole
It’s a cave
It’s kinda like a grave
When he tells you that he’s found somebody new

(Chorus)

Ooh, why they call it fallin
Why they call it fallin
Now I know

How true.

LOVE…

Love..it is something so simple, but yet, complex to understand. Now-a-days every teenager has a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but is this truly love, or they need to learn much more. Are they really mature to understand and handle love? Many teenagers have 5-6 (or maybe more) partners before marriage, so do they love everyone, or can someone love only once. Well if anyone is asked if they fell into love with everyone they have been with, the answer would be yes, but what is love, is something they wouldn’t be able to answer. I have taken this topic now, because all around me I see my friends, ruining their life, because of this love. Love can make and break lives. It is good to some, and really bad to others. Many people think love is something like having sex, or giving presents to their partners. Many want to get into a relationship because it is like a status symbol, I have a gf, I am better and cooler than you types. It is really sad because they are playing with the life of the other. And the worse thing is, most of the girls, in a relationship, get toally emotional, and boys usually do not like that. They very rarely get serious in relationships.

So moving on, you’ll must be thinking I have told so many things, asked so many questions, but what according to me is this thing called LOVE…

Once in class, my teacher asked us, What is love? Many gave answers, and then I said, Love is something that is unconditional. He said yes, this is a good definition (i dont give a damn what he thinks), anyway…Love is something that is unconditional, you must not like a person because they are beautiful, rich or have some exceptional qualities. One must like the person as a whole. No person is perfect. One must be supportive, whether its a bad time, or good time. We all can be with our friends when they are happy, and then party with them, but when the same person is sad, people think this person is always depressed, and very few actually are with him then. People even have criteria these days to make friends, those who are rich, good taste in music, etc, etc… I think don’t these people even have any shame. Are these people capable for fighting, and being there when ou need them. So if you really think you can handle these problems, and be there when one needs you, then you deserve love. There is a saying, “Who deserves love, gets it.” It depends if you can handle the responsibilities and dont end up doing something which you will regret for the rest of your life. It really doesn’t matter to boys, but gals are totally devastated after it. Even Lovely moments turn into dark nightmares. One must not expect or dream too much, because those same dreams if they do not come true, turn into nightmares. Rather do not expect anything, that when you achieve it or get it, you wold be the happiest person on this planet.

One must always adjust, give the other space, that even they enjoy their life. Age of around 17-18 is not the right time to get committed. But, one just learns from mistakes. I know about a couple (cannot disclose), the girl who was a good friend of mine, and doesn’t even know what kind of a guy she is going around with. If one intervenes, she would think they are jealous. So when I was talking to a friend in college about them, he told me, “If it works out for her, good for her. If it does not, she’ll learn from it. Both ways, she is benefitting.” How true…One just learns from bad experiences. Everyone is a kid (even if they are 25 and don’t accept it), but its the experience that he had, the mistakes that he committed, is the thing that will teach him the most.

Well this is something that I have learnt, my experience, friend’s experience, and many other families, those who were successful and those who were not. This is a small thought, something what I feel. Something that I learnt. I may be wrong, but one learns from mistakes ;) . I wrote something in my blog after a long time, and would be writing much more. So do post in your comments and wait for my next post.

World Cup Fever

The world cup has finally begun.But excuse me,why is no one interested in the world cup.Is it because India is out of the WC,or is it because the presence of minnows ie. Bangladesh and Ireland makes it less interesting.Anyway I will watch the whole world cup whether or not my favorite team South Africa wins it or reaches the finals.But I hope they win the cup by defeating Australia badly.This world cup is really special….Gibbs hitting six sixes in one over….WOW…It is impossible for anyone to do that,but Gibbs has done it.The team that made the highest score in the world cup and one of the so-called favourites are out of the cup.Not only that,even India’s neighbours Pakistan is out of the WC.Not to forget the death (or murder) of the Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer.Even if the home team West Indies is playing Australia the stands are empty.It is not a good start for this world cup,but I hope it ends well…..with south Africa winning the cup.

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